I found this great Wikihow page with advice on dealing with annoying people. It really helped me rethink a current work situation.
The most useful steps for me were:
Identify what is bothering you.
It’s also important to identify the what that is bothering you – what precisely about their behavior is causing you to feel so annoyed that you feel ready to explode or snap at them? Working out the real reason underlying the annoyance will enable you to target responses that will be effective in both solving the problem that annoys you and causes you to find that particular person so annoying. In other words, try to separate the problem from the person. For example:
Are you annoyed with the bragging backstabber because you’ve already told this person that you don’t appreciate their antics but they still continue, or is it because this person is so obviously out to get you but you don’t know how to stand up for yourself? In the first instance, your annoyance probably stems from the continued lack of respect and brazenness of the office gossiper; in the second instance, your annoyance may be based in feeling helpless and unable to control what is being said about you.
Be conscious that being annoyed by another person’s traits can be based in your own lack of patience or understanding.
In some cases, annoyance is driven by a sense of superiority, as when we quip “How stupid those people are!”, or “Does he have to be so daft?”, wherein we automatically assume we’re smarter without ever knowing the full story, or the personal issues that drive the person to act the way they do.
Learn to be more patient and to stop letting the little things bother you. Patience is a key aspect of minimizing annoyance in your life because you’ll stop feeling buffeted by time and circumstances and you can relax more and take things in your stride.
Consider shaking your life up a bit.
Being annoyed can be a sign that you’re too deeply entrenched in your comfort zone and woe betide anyone else who steps into it, however unknowingly. Try shaking things up a bit to expand your comfort zone now and then.
Accept that which you cannot change.
You can change yourself, the toilet paper, and the decor of your house. You cannot change someone else, nor can you ever feel comfortable if you constantly wish the world were as you think it ought to be.
Be compassionate, listen, and guide.
Try to focus on what you can do to adopt a more compassionate, guiding approach to an annoying behavior or action. Consider the ways in which you can provide constructive feedback to try and alleviate the annoying behavior or activities rather than blowing your top or creating a negative atmosphere. As part of this, be interested in the other person. If that sounds difficult, then there is all the more reason to put your compassionate self into action.
Categories: Becoming a better person