So. I had this theory.

My theory is that I only have plain or striped tops because I just don’t try.

The mission:

To look at the 2663 tops at Shopbop and see how many patterned tops I would actually buy (if money were no object). The tops had to have a pattern of some sort. Stripes not allowed.

The result:  A 0.7% success rate.

Here’s my pick of the patterned tops:

I would basically buy any shirt from Equipment.

Liked this DSQUARED2 shirt:

By Marlene Berger (A like, not a love. Would look better under a jacket.):

Bec & Bridge (love the pattern mix):

Free People (I’ve been stalking the first one, but just worried about the fabric quality):

Joie:

Maison Scotch:

MiH:

Splendid:

In summary:

• 17 tops out of 2663.
• Half button downs – which are a pain to iron, and they are mostly over 200 dollars.
• A very limited colour palette – blue, white, black, neutrals.

So, statistically the chances of me buying a pattern shirt are very low, and probably not worth worrying about.

Therefore, I am not to blame for my dull wardrobe, and the correct solution is to buy more scarves instead.