I haven’t been posting much this month because my dad has been dying. He died on Monday.
I have been spending this month sitting with him in the hospice, and swimming laps. That’s about it.
I find that now he has gone, the worry has gone and instead I just feel sad, which is much easier to cope with than the worry. Plus also the small annoying things he did in recent years are forgotten, and I just remember the good. Especially the dad that I adored as a child.
We have spent the last month as a family remembering the good times – the camping holidays when we were kids – and retelling all the family legends. It has been a privilege to go through this process together.
For the past month my life has been on hold (as it should be), but today, for the first day, I felt ready to start again.
‘Love you dad.