I love this Theodore Roosevelt quote which is in the Brene Brown book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
It is an inspiring quote for when you feel criticised. When you are scared to start. When things don’t go as planned but at least you tried. When life isn’t perfect.
Some of the ideas from Daring Greatly that I found interesting:
True belonging only happens when we are our true, authentic selves.
We love seeing raw truth and openness in others, but we don’t want to expose ourselves and be vulnerable.
One characteristic of shame resilience is awareness of cultural expectations (what we are supposed to be) and choosing not to play along.
Hiding who you really are can lead to isolation and helplessness – “no one knows the real me”.
When we stop caring about what people think, we lose our capacity for connection.
When we become defined by what people think, we lose our willingness to be vulnerable.
If we dismiss all the criticism we lose out on important feedback,
but if we subject ourselves to hatefulness, our spirits get crushed.
It’s a tightrope.